Standing O or Hell No: Golden Globes 2017

74th Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals I can't wait until I actually achieve something significant because what I learned on Golden Globes Sunday is that you are a terrifically supportive group!  All day I received messages to this general tune: CONGRATULATIONS! AWARD SEASON IS IN FULL SWING!  It was the functional equivalent of the time my son brought home a life-sized soccer trophy and when I high-fived him for the obviously extraordinary effort he was being commended for, he told me that everyone received one. That being said, even though I cannot take credit for the entirety of the Golden Globes PER SE, in spirit I was inside every dressing room cheering on the attendees.  And so, for that, I will accept your fine congratulations.  Merci!  (Note: I suspect some of your pleasantries were slightly self-serving as many came with an ancillary message suggesting I not "dawdle" in the interest of putting out a timely post.) Without further ado...

Emma Stone in Valentino (above) should be made into an emoji to express the way I feel when I am shot directly into fashion heaven.  I love a pale girl in a pale color, especially a red-head in pink.  She looks incredibly dreamy without playing the princess card.  The stars add to the ethereal feel of this gown and also lend modernity.  And it goes without saying the fit is perfection.  STANDING O!

 

poses in the press room during the 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 8, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California.

Dear trainer of Viola Davis, do you have a spiritual connection with Michelangelo?  Because that is the only way to account for arms this perfect.  This image inspires me to so much, chiefly looking this magnificent in evening wear.  Her beauty is immeasurable and this simple yet bold Michael Kors showcases perfectly her flawlessness.  (Only the merest ding for the dress being ever-so-slightly too long.)  Standing O, Viola!!

 

naomi-campbell-golden-globes-2017

What can Naomi Campbell possibly have left to sell to Satan in order to look this way? There is simply no earthly barter system strong enough to support this level of beauty.  Often I feel Versace skews a little costume-y on the red carpet but it is certainly not the case for this magnificent creation.  It is complicated in all the best ways because never once does it falter in execution.  This is also a case of the exact right dress being worn by the exact right woman: both over-the-top glamorous.  Standing O, Naomi (assist by Beelzbub)!

 

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 08: 74th ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS -- Pictured: Actress Mandy Moore arrives to the 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 8, 2017. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/NBCUniversal/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

A sheer cape and a plunging neckline?  You have my attention. If that's the train, I'm climbing aboard!  I'm so in favor of  the direction this look took from the exquisitely draped Naeem Khan gown to the drop earrings to the fresh and lovely make-up and chic hair.  Standing O!

 

Nothing Negga-tive here. (Sorry.)

The topography of Ruth Negga's face is such that I could stare at her all day.  She epitomizes modern beauty to me while still retaining a hint of flapper.  I fully support her choice to wear this modern Louis Vuitton column dress that made her look, very appropriately, statuesque.  Standing O!

 

drew-barrymore-globes-09jan17-05

For me, this Monique Lhuillier dress is a gentle nod to the swan Givenchy that Florence (and The Machines) wore to the Grammys a few years back - which I adored.  Drew Barrymore gives homage to that moment but one-ups it by looking resplendent in this adaptation.  She is luminous in silver.  Also, the styling is perfect - her black nails and multiple sparkly cocktail rings were the absolute correct move as was her tousled hair and smoky eye make up.  This is Drew at her best.  Standing O!

 

lily-collins

Lily Collins in Zuhair Murad was transcendent.  This dress is obviously a work of art but what brought this look to extraordinary heights is the make up and hair.  Congratulations, L'Oreal for making yourself a boat-load of cash based on this gothic pink/red look.  (Here are the products genius make up artist Fiona Stiles used.)  Let's get a closer look because this is truly brilliant:

lily-make-up

 

tiziana-rocca

Since everyone else is picking on Anna Chlumsky and Sarah Jessica Parker, I figure Tiziana Rocca is fair game.  To put this into corporate speak, there are many competing interests here.  It's as if the design team was in a massive argument but agreed to disagree by simply throwing all of their ideas into one dress.  If I had twenty minutes and an excellent seamstress, I'd instruct her to feverishly cut the top of the dress and leave the sweatheart neckline then move onto setting the waist in the right place and cutting out the excess fabric.  I'd rip off her jewelry, add some sparkly rings and a sparkly waist belt and pray that the media only photographed her from the knees up.  Hell No!

Standing O or Hell No: Janelle Monae

janelle-monae-palm-spings-ms-010217The Palm Springs Film Festival happened last night.  Sadly, though, I was in an eggnog-and-holiday-cookie-induced-coma (of sorts) and could not revive in time to pay proper attention. Today I've finally sifted through all the white noise related to Mariah Carey and her NYE debacle and have found the festival's red carpet arrivals! I think I've also found the first great dress of 2017 courtesy or Jenny Packham worn by Janelle Monae (above).  As you are all well aware, Janelle wears black and white exclusively and yet never ever looks boring.  What I'm trying to figure out is if this achievement is a greater testament to her personal style or to the timelessness and widespread appeal of a black and white combination.  In either case, this gown is stunning and she is owning this look.  I'm hoping that this is some kind of omen for 2017 letting us know that better things are to come starting with this dress.  Standing O!

Oh the Inequity

I might even be convinced to see a remake of Glitter if these foxes were in it. In the spirit of the season, I wish the internet could elect a Homecoming King and Queen.  These two would have my vote for sure.  Even though their film, Keeping Up With the Joneses, looks like sheer and utter nonsense, they make a compelling visual case to go and see it anyway.  What on God's green earth do you think their mothers fed them for breakfast when they were children?  Bars of pure gold sprinkled with beauty dust?  It's inconceivable that this much genetic favor was bestowed on just two human beings.  Speaking of God, if He was being fair he could've spread the bounty out a bit more evenly among the rest of us.

Besides their intrinsic beauty, each of these two is KILLING IT in the wardrobe department.  I'm not sure who Jon Hamm's current stylist is since he's worked with a few folks but he continues to be the inspiration for how all men should look in suits.  As for Gal Gadot, I know she works with Micaela Erlanger who is extremely talented not to mention a beauty in her own right.  This D&G dress that she chose is off the charts amazing.  It is so flawless and well made/worn that it looks liquid and I applaud that the shoes pick up where the dress leaves off - with more sparkly silver.  I wouldn't have minded earrings or a cocktail ring but letting the dress shine (literally and figuratively) was a great move.  And an even better move would be for Gal Gadot to keep hold of Jon Hamm's hand.  He, in that suit, is a better accessory than any stylist or starlet could ever get a hold of.

Standing O or Hell No: Emmys 2016

I believe I can fly... My friend, Jenny, and I were talking about how Awards Season for a fashion addict is pretty much the same thing as an escalating binge for a drug addict.  It starts out mellow and calm with the lead-in film festivals.  Everyone is content and feeling/looking great. (POT!)  Next up are the Emmys.  People are euphoric, everyone is overwhelmingly happy and there are yet no grudges.  The party has just begun!  (MOLLY!)  Advance a few weeks to the SAG Awards.  People have waited a full month for another event and they are jonesing for their rush.  (HEROINE!)  Of course by the time the Golden Globes air in January they are in a frenzy. (COKE!)  And when the Oscars finally arrive folks are brittle and foaming at the mouth. (CRACK!)  Then, of course, everyone goes into rehab to gather enough strength for the next year.

Thank goodness we are still in a euphoric state (i.e last night's Emmys).  The ladies turned it OUT.  Allow me to submit my HIGHlight reel (awful pun intended):

If the Emmys are Molly then Priyanka Chopra (above) in Jason Wu is the embodiment of bliss.  Her delight with her dress was joyfully evident - she swung the layers to and fro so we could all appreciate the gown's many dimensions.  Standing O!

 

68th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - ArrivalsSarah Paulson's Prada gown had a hint of J Lo's famous Versace but is updated in a chic and elegant way.  The beading is so intricate and the color is beautiful - Standing O!

 

For a funny lady, this look is no joke.

Kate McKinnon's red dress reminded me of Jennifer Lawrence's break out Oscars moment in that now famous red Calvin Klein.  Hey, if it's good enough for Jennifer Lawrence...Standing O!

 

kristen-bell

I cannot ignore a printed gown, especially one this exquisite.  My favorite element is the flower cascade on her right "strap."  So artful! Kristen Bell and Zuhair Murad, Standing O!

 

When I was 12 I was pegging my jeans and layering my socks.

Millie Bobby Brown (far right) in Valentino is officially the most sophisticated 12 year old I have ever laid eyes on.  The dress is darling, fun, and age-appropriate and the clutch with "Millie" on it agrees with the young/fresh vibe she has established.  Standing O!

I had a hard morning and can't muster the energy to be negative.  Let's look at one particularly bad ensemble and call it a day:

anna-chumleyI hope Dante isn't busy today because he is going to have to create a new circle in hell for this Christian Siriano.  The way this dress looks is what detox must feel like.  Speaking of hell, Hell No!

Film Festival Fashion Warm Up

42nd Deauville American Film Festival : Opening Ceremony I hope you are taking your vitamins and doing your exercises, dear readers, because you will need to keep your strength up; Film festival season is upon us and there will be thousands of feet of red carpet to walk before we arrive at the end.  I'd like to suggest you wear sneakers on this arduous journey but, of course, that would be ludicrous!

Now let's begin our warm up session by looking at a few favorites from the Venice and Deauville film festivals.  Diane Kruger's Charlotte Olympia lucite clutch (above) is definitely getting my heart rate up.  In fact, it is stirring up a powerful storm of emotions within me and prevailing among these is covetousness.  I may need to take more than my vitamins in order to get that bag off my mind.  Let's zoom out and ogle the entire look:

'The Infiltrator' Premieres At The Deauville Film Festival

I rarely support a sheer gown however, master that Elie Saab is, has given us something compelling here.  D. Kruger's superlative genetics certainly advance this look but all of the gown's components have inherent strength - the jeweled hearts, the black/red color combination, the thick velvet belt, and last but not least, the glorious CAPE:

 

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I'm also smitten with Amy Adams in Tom Ford:

'Nocturnal Animals' Premireres At The Venice Film Festival

I concede that it's a very SAFE move to wear a metallic to an awards show but this gown is exponentially more than it's hue - the cut, the drape, the fit, and the shine are perfectly suited to Amy who proved during her American Hustle days that she does disco like no one else.   I want to place an Oscar in her hand and call it a day.  She may not have that Oscar (yet) but I am still calling it a day.

 

Swar-Ov-Skee

Andra Day wearing a vintage dress and Marchesa shoes to the BET Awards Often I sit down to write a post and think, "I have nothing to say" - my husband wishes I had that problem- but then I start surfing the internet and immediately become enraged or enthralled by something I see.  This is how things went today, for instance:

  1. I had nothing to say
  2. I started reviewing BET dresses and decided to post re: Andra Day's cute vintage dress (above)
  3. I got sucked into a video about Beyonce's BET performance on US Weekly online
  4. At 1:52 in the video the hostess describes the embellishment on Bey's bodysuit as SAVARSKI crystals
  5. HOLD THE PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. My real post was born

Let's clear this up right now because it is SELDOM that I hear anyone pronounce the Austrian crystal producer, Swarovski, correctly (and this includes people in the industry who should know better).  The proper pronunciation is swar-Ov-skee, emphasis on the second syllable.  If phonetics don't make sense to you, here's a video with Nathalie Colin, Swarovski's Creative Director, and Gloria Gaynor, no intro needed, and both women say Swarovski by 0:23.

Thank you, YouTube, for solving the world's problems (and my pet peeves) yet again.

Standing O, Hell No, or So-So: Cannes Film Festival

bella-heathcote-cannes 2I spent the week before last working in LA (by "working" I really mean vacationing since shopping with clients in Beverly Hills is hardly what I'd consider grueling work).  In any case, en route home something peculiar happened.  I gained back my three east coast hours, but somehow ended up with a net loss of two weeks.  That's right, I'm going to blame quantum physics for me missing most of The Cannes Film Festival as well as assorted other events like the Billboard Music Awards and basically every network's Upfronts.  So there you have it: Science and not the Wardrobe Whisperer is at fault here.  Now that we've settled that score, let's discuss some of the more interesting Cannes gowns. Let us put our collective hands together and pray that Bella Heathcote (above) will dispense with those shoes immediately.  I, for one, am willing to pretend they never happened.  Instead let's appreciate her pretty little frock.  Delicate! Lovely! I wouldn't have minded wispy earrings and a gentle bracelet but I'm not mad because her lips are so pretty they are an accessory in and of themselves.  Standing O!

 

cannes 1Kirsten Dunst's yellow Maison Margiela came so close to being excellent.  Everything from the knees down is in A+ territory.  But what with the poor fit in the torso and the extraneous bust ruffle?  This is like when you order you favorite sandwich only to unwrap it and find it was hastily made and someone absentmindedly tossed anchovies on it.  This sandwich is tainted.  So-So.

 

Jourdan Dunn CannesI cannot find a photo of Jourdan Dunn's Ralph & Russo that does it justice but it was superb!   So intricate and dramatic!  And her over-the-shoulder glances SOLD the train on this gown. If J Lo really has insurance for her posterior, Jourdan should consider taking out a policy on those shoulders.  Now a close up from the side/front:

jourdan 2

Standing O!

 

bella-hadid-cannes-wardrobe-malfunction-red-dress-1I'm not typically a fan of dressing this literally (i.e. showing so much flesh) but I just have to say WOW.  I think Bella Hadid was about 2 centimeters away from making headlines in a different way but she kept everything in place which must've been no easy feat.  Standing O!

 

cheryl-fernandez-versini-vogue-16may16-pa_b_320x480

This Versini dress worn by Cheryl Fernandez is in fabric form what I dream all Cannes parties are like:  colorful, fun, and loud (but in the best way possible).  I adore this dress and its perfect fit - Standing O!

Manus x Machina: Let's Talk

Met Gala Nicole To many, this year's Met Gala theme (and corresponding wardrobe requirements) were confounding (much like the invitations people send out for their weddings). I think the idea of Manus x Machina was to explore the different methods of creating fashion - Manus (by hand) and Machina (machine made) and how, over the years, those lines have blurred.  For instance, ready-to-wear these days often features hand sewn elements and, by contrast, haute couture sometimes features machine-made elements. But it seems that many of the attendees either punted and wore whatever they damn well pleased or interpreted this year's theme quite literally as in "I"m going to dress like a machine (or a robot) which is chrome.  So I'm going to wear silver and call it a day."  Witness:

Met Gala Kylie

met gala kim

met gala rita

Personally I preferred the folks who had more fun with the idea and focused on what can be produced when both hand sewing and machine sewing unite. Nicole Kidman (featured in the lead photo) is a perfect example.  Her Alexander McQueen is exquisite and, to me, a perfect interpretation of the theme.  There's clearly a ton of hand-beading on that dress but the sides are laser-cut which is done by machine.  Here's another shot of the dress and its (and HER) wondrous beauty:

met gala nicole 2

And here's Zoe Saldana in Dolce & Gabbana (GLORIOUS!!) doing the fashion equivalent of a mic drop:

met gala zoe

I don't think Katy Perry's Prada look is GORGEOUS, per se, but this is a COSTUME party at its core and no matter what you think of Katy, girl knows how to DO a costume.  This one is incredibly on theme:

met gala katy

I'll have one of what Stacy Martin (in Miu Miu) is having:

met gala stacy

 

And then there's Claire Danes in Zac Posen which, for me, was one of the most thrilling and unexpected interpretations of the night:

met gala claireNow for the pièce de résistance!!  This is what happened with the dress when the lights went low:

met gala claire 2NAILED IT!