Due to the fact that I was traveling I did not watch the Academy Awards red carpet last night. Of course I was monitoring every arrival and refreshing the feed with such urgency that my phone felt like a burning ember; But still, to me, this was like waking up on December 26th and realizing that OOOOOPS I missed Christmas. I am less sad, however, about missing the actual show. As Drew Magary hilariously points out in his Hater's Guide to the Oscars, "...if you go by the analytics, sleeping through the Oscars is always the correct decision. The data is ironclad." He observes that there was no way the Academy would allow anything akin to the amazing and amusing Best Picture snafu of last year and so it was far better to just hedge and snooze instead. To his point, I was already caught up by 12:01 am.
An unintended yet joyful consequence of the all-black Golden Globes and BAFTAs is the collective feeling of Oh Yay The Color Hunger Strike is Over! Let's review what happened last night and let's start with Zendaya (above) in her creamy brown Giambattista Valli. This look was a feast for my hungry eyes. Brown is pretty unexpected for the red carpet (and reminds me of chocolate which is a bonus) and her execution was utterly flawless. I have stared at her for far longer than I feel comfortable admitting. Standing O!
I fainted when I saw Zendaya and then was revived and fainted again when I saw Nicole:
This entire look is: How To Dress for the Red Carpet When You Are a Movie Star. I might not have selected that specific black shoe but as for the dress, Armani is displaying its best here. I love that this was styled simply with diamond chandelier earrings and Nicole's lovliness was the center piece. Standing O!
The banquet of beauty did not end there. To mix metaphors, let's march through the Standing O Hit Parade:
(Sounds of clapping and shouts of STANDING O fade out.) It never delights me to ding those who missed their fashion mark but these posts require a Hell No portion or I will have to re-title them.