Standing O or Hell No: Golden Globes 2016

Jennifer-Lopez-Dress-Golden-Globe-Awards-2016Sometimes you need to experience the low form of something in order to truly appreciate the high form of that very same thing.  For instance, burgers at Keens taste even more heavenly if you've eaten at McDonald's.  The juxtaposition highlights intrinsic value.  And so it goes with exhibitionism.  Yesterday afternoon I got on an uptown N train, sat down, and looked up to see three twenty-somethings in their underpants.  Yes, No Pants Subway Ride.  I was not phased by the underwear (although it was twee) and similarly was not overly phased by the lack of hygiene associated with this stunt (note to the pants-less - please consult a razor before stepping outside).  The thing I found the most ludicrous and obscene was the fact that the subway car was relatively empty and these fools chose to STAND THE WHOLE TIME.  (It is customary for people to shove grandmothers in order to get a seat.)  As mentioned, hygiene was not on their minds so effectively they forewent seats ONLY for the sake of exhibitionism.  This trio was on my mind when two hours later I tuned into the Golden Globes and  witnessed another form of exhibitionism.  It goes without saying which form I preferred. Without further ado I'm going to declare J Lo's Giambattista Valli (and her 240 carats!!) my favorite look of the evening.  Because it was exactly that - a LOOK.  You can say what you want about her but she knows how to deliver the DRAMA.  The mustard color of the gown is stunning and all the more perfect against her skin.  The red lip is glory itself.  The jewels/bag/shoes were integrated perfectly and to great effect and although the cape has been controversial, I love it because it's different.  I'll concede that the draping of the cape from the back was not flawless but so be it.  STANDING O, J LO!

 

kirsten dunst_globesI wonder how many "Golden GLOBES" jokes Kirsten Dunst had to endure last evening.  For what it's worth, they do look absolutely perfect.  I'm not always a fan of her sartorial choices but I think she's slaying it in this velvet Valentino.  Her entire head looks lovely and her spare but elegant jewelry allow the dress (and her chest) to take center stage.  She's a true student of the if-you've-got-it-flaunt-it school of thought.  Standing O!

 

Alicia VikanderI immediately loved this Vuitton on Alicia Vikander when I saw her in motion on the carpet last night.  Admittedly it does not translate as well to the static nature of photos.  But I will comment on it none-the-less because I was struck by her red carpet arrival.  She was a vision - fresh and youthful.  I loved her playful vibe - especially for the Globes - and I adored the much debated open back because it was the perfect foil to the front of the dress:

Alicia Vikander 2Note to readers:  This woman dates Michael Fassbender on the regular.   Is anyone else concerned about the global warming effects of that much hotness being concentrated in one place?  Further note: Standing O!

 

cate globes 2016Can we all just agree that no other woman on the face of this earth could even attempt to pull off this zany Givenchy?  And yet somehow Cate Blanchett's ethereal beauty makes it work despite all odds.  It's beyond nutty and yet overall she remains looking elegant and regal.  I give Cate's head and her presence a Standing O and the rest of this look a So-S0.

 

kate hudson globesAnd then this happened.  By the way Kate Hudson is standing I gather she also felt something was amiss.  Was it the worst look of the night?  No.  But almost.  Those shoes alone are enough to give me nightmares but why did someone feel the need to snip out the center of this otherwise promising dress and then tie that scrap around her neck?  I'm vehemently against this look.  There are no more words except, of course, Hell No.

 

jane-fonda-golden-globes-2016-504390220-419x630In my third grade ballet recital I had to dress as a porcelain doll.  My costume looked eerily similar to Jane Fonda's dress above AND the weird doll below:

clown_globesThese are not points of merit.  Hell No, Jane.

Waiter!!  A palate cleanser for my readers, please!

leonardo-dicaprio-golden-globesStanding O, Leo.  Always.