Readers, I need you to understand in no uncertain terms that the “Manus x Machina: Fashion in an age of technology” was a one time event-driven theme exclusively for the Met Gala. It is NOT a thing. In the immortal words of Regina George, “Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen, because it is not going to happen.” Except in this case 86 ‘fetch’ and sub ‘robot clothes.’
Carey Underwood’s weird gold breastplate also reminds me of this woman who used to live near me in Park Slope (Brooklyn). For some reason that I could never figure out (and believe me, I consulted medical professionals) she used to wear a hard plastic breastplate OVER her clothes and all the time. Making things odder, she often decorated it. For instance, when it was Christmas time we might see some wreaths taped to the front or perhaps a gentle nativity scene. Any way you look at it, if you are being forced by your doctor (or some sadistic sicko) to wear what is tantamount to an exoskeleton, you might not want to call additional attention to it in the form of tiny flashing white lights. This is just common sense, people, but apparently Carey Underwood needs me to spell this out for her and so I have. With that, please let this end the chapter of unnecessarily protecting our ribs through fashion.