What to wear sky diving


Me (in Missoni) and my badass 72 year old dad pre-skydive

At least once a day, every day, I’m consulted on what to wear while doing/attending SOME thing.  Typically that thing is not sky diving but this past weekend it was; And the question came from within.  The instruction given from the facility was to wear comfortable clothing and lace-up sneakers.  In my world comfort is trumped by a million different factors and therefore I don’t own multitudes that would fit that description.  In the end I chose a pair of black and hot pink Nike athletic pants that I wear to play tennis in the cold plus a black tank top and Adidas Stan Smith sneakers.  Little did I know that this look would NAIL IT.  Apparently sky diving culture embraces and exults extremely loud, tight, printed pants.  This was verified by one of the instructors who approached me as if I was a veteran flyer (this was only my second time) based solely upon my bottom half.  Needless to say, I felt triumphant, despite the fact that I was uniting myself with folks in some of the ugliest pants I have ever seen in my life.  No matter: when in Rome.

Loud, tight, printed pants was but one of two trends that I identified on Sunday.  The other happened to be the no clothes or bikini bottoms only sky diving trend.  This raised so many questions for me, not the least of which were:

  1. Who is slated to wear the issued harness after said harness was rubbing the sensitive areas of the naked sky diver?
  2. And if that next person is slated to be me, will the harness be cleaned in some fashion?
  3. And, more specifically in WHAT fashion?
  4. And how thoroughly?

This was scheduled to be a rated G sky diving adventure to celebrate my dad’s 72nd birthday and yet these were the questions and the imagery with which we we were confronted as a family.  I’ve faced many things with my father and siblings through the years but naked folks jumping out of planes in our full collective view has not been one of them.  Until now.

Here are those pants I mentioned:

If you want to appear to be a sky-diving insider, go loud or go home. Or go naked.