Standing O, Hell No, or So-So: Cannes 2017


Apologies for interrupting a show already in progress: The Cannes Film Festival.  But I continue to receive a multitude of texts to the tune of:

“Cannes you please stop everything and blog some dresses?”

Faithful readers know I am incapable of ignoring a pun and so I will jump in late with a mini-review…

A few years ago I ran into an old friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years and her belly was protruding; So confident was I in my assumptions that I sang out “BABY!!!” and rubbed her stomach only to part ways and later discover she was NOT pregnant.  I had a similar overwhelming confidence when I viewed Nicole Kidman’s silver frock above.  I would’ve sworn it was a Gucci then learned it’s a Rodarte.  I need to quit being so cocky.  As I’m working on that, let’s call this So-So and move on to this:

Like Glenn Close in Basic Instinct, this Michael Cinco dress WILL NOT BE IGNORED.  Rightfully, it should not be ignored, for it is a wondrous thing. Witness Aishwarya Rai from this vantage point:

Standing O.

Speaking of vantage points…

When I was a child I remember being told that Satan takes on many forms. That frightened me.  Clearly I had no idea what true terror lurked out there because this Alexandre Vauthier hadn’t yet been designed.  It seems a fitting time to evoke Hell as in Hell No.

 

If Versace needed to update its resume, my suggestion would be to simply insert this photo of Uma Thurman. The technical fashion term “amaze-balls” comes to mind here.  What also comes to mind is Naomi Campbell wearing another version of this dress to the Golden Globes and also killing it.   Standing O.