Bottega Veneta and the Art of Glam

The other day my bestie texted to say how much she’s been hating fashion ads lately but that she both LOVES this Bottega Veneta ad as well as the outfit it features on Grace P Cheng.  I am in whole-hearted agreement.  That which I love here:

  1.  The fact that Bottega Veneta’s F/W 2017 collection is overtly and unabashedly feminine
  2.  The subtle but powerful use of texture (the brocade bag, the fur-shouldered blouse, the accordion pleat skirt, the whip-stitch gloves, the chained pin)
  3.  The completely current color combination of black and gold and cognac
  4. Grace Cheng’s FACE.  And hair.  And attitude.  And general awesomeness.

Bottega Veneta has been killing it lately by embracing cold-hard glamour.  Last night they sponsored the Hammer Gala and rolled out these ultra-glam A+ looks:

You know how all musicians wish they wrote Wonderwall? In much the same way I wish I had created the thoroughly modern, not-at-all-boring-yet-completely staid outfit that Zachary Quinto was chosen to sport.

 

The embroidered flowers on Camilla Belle’s dress are so elegant and perfectly tie to her lipstick.  Details matter.

I am unmoved by Sistine Rose Stalone’s belly-baring tube top but I would engage in hand to hand combat for that jacket.

 

I predict that these stripes will do good things for the continuing career of Marissa Tomei.

Why boots are the security blankets of adult women

Many MANY things can go awry in the course of a day but if you find yourself kicking it in your favorite boots somehow you feel impervious to these outside forces.  Boots are like krypton.  More accurately, boots are like a woman’s security blanket.  There is something so satisfying and comforting in the way boots embrace your legs (if they are tall) and envelope your feet.  What is not to love about a footwear that HUGS its wearer?  Not to mention that they provide heat when the temperatures dip and, as we all well know, coziness equals love.  I’d be hard-pressed to identify a woman who does not get PUMPED to shop for boots each fall.  In fact, it’s the number one thing I’ve been discussing with my female clients this month: which ones, what heights, and which colors.  The good news is that there exist so many correct formulas.

One detail I am demanding this fall is a covered heel.  I don’t want a stack nor do I even want a novelty heel.  I want that bad boy to blend and provide an ultra sleek aesthetic.  Case in point is the Aquazzura Brera Tall Boot in tan featured above.  This boot is my number one favorite at this moment for its simplicity, color, and heel.  Let it be known that I have seated myself front and center on the tan/cognac bandwagon that’s been cruising around. It is my preferred neutral of this season.

Another current favorite:

That studded Y is for YASSSSSSSSSSSSS PLEASE!  And also for YSL obviously.  More specifically the Saint Laurent Studded Grace Knee Boot.

If you’re in the market for a bootie…

 

this little lady is stealing my heart.  Look at that demure pose! She’s so lovely.  And the patent leather covered heel?  Dreamy!  This Stella Luna Ruffle Trimmed boot needs to become part of my life this fall.  And perhaps yours as well?

Lastly, but not leastly (?!), I am FEELING a white boot:

These Gianvito Rossi Laura Knee Boots are so OF THE MOMENT.  Please, Forces of the Universe, let it come to pass that I wear these very boots as soon as possible paired with my white shadow mink fur coat.  Is that too much to ask from you?  (Don’t answer that question.)

Standing O or Hell No: Emmy Awards 2017

The only job that Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz should have is to create more humans that look like this.

It’s officially awards season and I’m officially swooning!  Thank you, good ladies of the Emmys, for giving us something to DISCUSS:

First bullet point – Zoe Kravits of Big Little Lies in Dior (above).  The degree of complexity on this dress is HIGH.  On the wrong girl this gown would read Fraggle Rock but on Zoe its transcendent.  An excerpt from a text I sent to my SISTER-girl, Venessa:

Girlfriend looked like a 2 year old cut her hair then slapped Vaseline in it and she’s still a straight 10.   Standing O, Zoe!

 

When I’m “seeing red,” if it could be this exact hue, the world would be a different place.

THIS dress.  This DRESS.  THIS DRESS!! I would not have pegged this as a Calvin Klein but sometimes his genius prevails.  The rhinestone elements are making it necessary for me to breathe into a brown paper bag.  Not to be negative but I would say that Nicole’s head has looked more perfect in other applications but obviously she is still killing it here.  Maybe it’s just that her hair is a wee bit limp.  No matter: Standing O!

 

I rarely think that pants are as effective as a dress on the red carpet but this is the clear exception.  Claire Foye in those rhinestones and shoulder cape are winning on the red carpet and at life in general.  Standing O!

 

Yara Shahidi in Prada makes me long for my youth.  Her skin looks like the night stars are shining from within her.  The dress and belt are the things that dreams are made of.  Standing O!

 

One thousand points for Effective Use of Color.  Viola Davis wearing this orange Zac Posen is an image I will be holding on to when it is cold and dark and I need something to comfort me in a time of deep distress.  Standing O!

There were so many good looks but people I HAVE A DAY JOB and my clients are waiting.  Not to end on a sour note but wha-wha:

 

A cold Winter indeed.

Remember that time of deep distress I mentioned moments ago?  Witness Ariel Winter.  Hell No!

Wardrobe Whisperer Reviews NYFW: Spring 2018

It’s NY Fashion Week PLUS there are about twenty million other red carpet events happening concurrently.  I am seeing runway shows in my sleep.  Steam is coming out of my ears because my brain is churning so hard.  Luckily my internal CPU is powered by red wine and I am happy to report that there’s no shortage of that around here.

For the sake of efficiency I’m going to synthesize NYFW Spring 2018 Ready to Wear (to date) by plucking out a few of my favorite looks and putting them forward haphazardly. For instance, cast your gaze upward at Gigi Hadid in Tom Ford.  This is what the future looks like in my head: modern yet distinctly feminine.  The draping on this piece is exquisite.  Onward:

 

Reem Acra had a strong showing. It pained me to have to choose one look so let’s consider this gown a representation of all that was glorious in this collection.  And there was much glory indeed.  Head over to Vogue.com to see the full slideshow.

 

Somewhere deep in the heart of every girl is the desire to wear this exact Carolina Herrera dress during the day and this one in the evening:

 

Side note: Apparently my version of NY Fashion Week is mostly about gowns.  I’m okay with that view.  Clearly:

 

This reminds me of when you order a hand-shaved ice and they pour the cherry syrup on top and you salivate as you watch it spread across your chilled treat.  And, yes, I’d like to wear said chilled treat in the form of this Oscar de la Renta confection.

Next…

 

I want to pick her up and twirl her around.  Then I went to wrestle her to the floor and steal her Rosie Assouline frock.

The J Mendel show was DELICIOUS:

And it also included tons of fur accents.  At this juncture I am going to press a finger to my own lips indicating I should speak no more and simply allow J Mendel’s tremendous looks to communicate…

 

 

Market Watch and Wardrobe Whisperer talk watches

If all watches were equal (in price) which they are not, this Patek Phillipe from the new “Grand Complications” collection would be mine NOWish.

Whether or not it is intentional, your watch communicates things about you.  Leslie Albrecht from the Wall Street Journal’s digital finance site, Market Watch, asked me to translate what is being said.  (Keep reading, mom, most of my quotes are in the last third of this article):

This accessory makes people feel dominant in business negotiations

Celeb Sighting: Jenna Lyons (YES she is a celebrity)

Jenna at the 2017 Tony Awards

A few days ago Jenna Lyons passed me in SoHo.  That I recognized her registered on her face and resulted in her picking up her pace ever so slightly.  Which makes me think I may have a latent stalker vibe (?!?) to which I’ve been blind.  I began feverishly texting my friends, as one does when one has latent stalker tendencies, to report this majestic sighting.  A few of the responses I received:

  1. WHO is that?!
  2. Oh my gosh – I LOVED her in The Office.
  3. Channing Tatum’s wife?

Answers to the above:

  1. The former creative director and president of J Crew widely credited for reinvigorating the brand as it was slumping in the early 2000’s.  She is a Damn. Fashion. ICON.
  2. That would be Jenna Fischer.
  3. That would be Jenna Dewan Tatum.

So what if no one else found this sighting as glorious and serendipitous as I did, I still wanted to chase her down to grill her (LATENT tendencies!).  Her rise to fame is fascinating to me.  Yes: FAME.  She began as a junior designer in 1990 and ascended not only to the highest ranks but became the de facto face of the company.  When word of her departure was released, it was reported that the decision was mutual.  That is code for: tumultuous but suppressed.  To quote Seinfeld: “It was the first mutual break up in relationship history!” Which is to say break ups are rarely ever mutual; And I suspect this one follows suit.  In any case, I would like to end with an open letter to Jenna:

Hi Jenna,

It’s me, the stalker you saw on Broadway and Prince, AKA the Wardrobe Whisperer.  PLEASE for the love of all that is good and holy write a tell-all book immediately.  That is, if you’re not already penning said book which I’m certain you must be.  It would be a completely missed opportunity to keep us in the dark.  I require details.  Please start from the beginning of the end.

Thank you,

WW

 

In It to Pin It

A few years back I was hired to style a finance expert who regularly appears on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, CNBC, Bloomberg, etc.  What I learned while working with her is that, although they supply commentators with nada wardrobe-wise, these networks are relentless with their wardrobe requests.  One news giant (allow me to be evasive) was particularly unscrupulous and would send direction of this flavor: “Please no pants, and wear shorter skirts.” It’s worth noting that after this appeal, they switched their format to round-table (vs behind a desk) to ensure lots of leg-shots.  Good times.

While all were guilty of putting the “direct” in direction, typically the organizations had more reasonable (and less exploitative) requests.  For instance, a different news outlet that shot primarily from the torso up asked this client to distinguish herself by creating a “signature look.”  For her, this was akin to receiving a wedding invitation that specified “garden casual attire.”  The point is that people who are not stylists rarely want to think that hard about what they need to wear.  My immediate instinct was to try incorporating a brooch/pin into her look because I couldn’t remember ever having seen a commentator wear one.  My go-to, of course, then and now is Alexis Bittar.  The lucite pins we chose were a HUGE success and not only garnered kudos from the network, it registered in her viewer appeal ratings.  Which leads me to the point of this post: YOU TOO SHOULD WEAR PINS.  As evidenced by my experience, they are NOT for old ladies only and ARE an easy way to distinguish yourself from the masses. Lucky for you I recently previewed AB’s stunning fall collection I have identified next season’s IT pin.  It’s a diamond-encrusted snake acting as the pistil of a lucite flower and it is to die for (above).  No link yet as it has not yet been released but will be soon!

Wimbledos and Wimbledon’ts

Chris Quinn gets served literally and figuratively.

As a parent of two small fries, I’ve been trying to embrace the “teaching moment.” Recently while in the grocery store my four year old and I crossed paths with a woman who had bathed in perfume moments before causing Lilli to shout, “Mommy! WHO STINKS?!”  It was obvious to me this was a teaching moment.  Clearly the lesson was to lower your voice so you don’t get caught saying what you really think.  Wait a minute.  On second thought, maybe the lesson was supposed to be to not say unkind things?! Damnit!  I never claimed to be a pro.  I’ll tell you who is, though – Kim Clijsters.  Not only is she a pro at tennis but she is also a pro at life.  She recently took the teaching moment to new heights during one of her matches at Wimbledon.  She had a heckler that was so obnoxious he moved her to invite him onto the court to face her.  As is well known, at Wimbledon one can only play in all-whites and this man hadn’t the proper attire. Undaunted, Kim grabbed a skirt from her bag and made him stuff himself into it.  Unsurprisingly he was unable to follow his own technical advice and failed in spectacular fashion on the court while looking like a sausage personified.  Needless to say, he got schooled.

While we are on the topic of teaching moments, allow me to use the Royals at Wimbledon to illustrate a few lessons I’ve been forever preaching.  Namely:

  1. Embrace prints (points to both Kate and William for this and also that random third Royal)
  2. A textured tie, like Will’s knit, is a welcome change for a warmer season
  3. I can and will kill for Kate’s hair
  4. Everyone looks hotter in sunglasses (take note random third Royal and, also, please tear that bow from its perch)

Witness:

What to wear sky diving

Me (in Missoni) and my badass 72 year old dad pre-skydive

At least once a day, every day, I’m consulted on what to wear while doing/attending SOME thing.  Typically that thing is not sky diving but this past weekend it was; And the question came from within.  The instruction given from the facility was to wear comfortable clothing and lace-up sneakers.  In my world comfort is trumped by a million different factors and therefore I don’t own multitudes that would fit that description.  In the end I chose a pair of black and hot pink Nike athletic pants that I wear to play tennis in the cold plus a black tank top and Adidas Stan Smith sneakers.  Little did I know that this look would NAIL IT.  Apparently sky diving culture embraces and exults extremely loud, tight, printed pants.  This was verified by one of the instructors who approached me as if I was a veteran flyer (this was only my second time) based solely upon my bottom half.  Needless to say, I felt triumphant, despite the fact that I was uniting myself with folks in some of the ugliest pants I have ever seen in my life.  No matter: when in Rome.

Loud, tight, printed pants was but one of two trends that I identified on Sunday.  The other happened to be the no clothes or bikini bottoms only sky diving trend.  This raised so many questions for me, not the least of which were:

  1. Who is slated to wear the issued harness after said harness was rubbing the sensitive areas of the naked sky diver?
  2. And if that next person is slated to be me, will the harness be cleaned in some fashion?
  3. And, more specifically in WHAT fashion?
  4. And how thoroughly?

This was scheduled to be a rated G sky diving adventure to celebrate my dad’s 72nd birthday and yet these were the questions and the imagery with which we we were confronted as a family.  I’ve faced many things with my father and siblings through the years but naked folks jumping out of planes in our full collective view has not been one of them.  Until now.

Here are those pants I mentioned:

If you want to appear to be a sky-diving insider, go loud or go home. Or go naked.

Somehow the debate about men’s shorts rages on

I was pumped about summer vacation for exactly 72 hours until:

  1. I spent 48 of those 72 hours applying sunscreen to tiny necks and backs
  2. “Bored” became a leader in my kids’ vocabulary
  3. Spontaneous fist-fights erupted in my house at regular intervals
  4. Littles began waking up before 6am, despite black out curtains, because the sun somehow still peeks through

People, it is not even real summer yet.

In addition to the above list of affronts, the debate about men’s shorts seems to have extended beyond what Linette Lopez and I tackled a few years backAs Quartz confirms, there are an increasing amount of folks who take the position that men should never wear shorts. I consider that an extreme opinion and wish to defend the right of men to regulate their body temperatures as best as they can.  I understand that in places like England shorts are abandoned as part of the right of passage into manhood but here in the good old USA, shorts are hugely relevant (case and point: New York City in the middle of August) and are part of American culture in much the same way as denim.  To me, the problem is in the execution not in the garment itself.  This goes back to our cargo shorts debate (which, by the way, was published a full year BEFORE the Wall Street Journal took on the same topic and got a TON of media attention for it).  Basically too often we see men wearing oversized, overstuffed shorts and, in effect, ruining it for everyone else.  If men would, as a whole, commit to wearing streamlined styles like, for example, the Theory model pictured above, I don’t think shorts would have such a bad reputation.

I’m sure I will get a million texts and emails saying that flat-front shorts don’t work on every body type but in fact they do work on most.  If your waistline doesn’t support them then let’s not blame the garment.  Put down that fifth beer and back away.

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